On this most un-free COVID-stained July 4th, I want to caution you about another important way in which we are not free: regarding our sexual fantasies.
You are NOT free to fantasize about sex that is illegal. If you do, and you’re caught, you will have to prove you do not actually want to do those things. This is almost impossible. In fact, in my experience as an expert witness in courtrooms across America, I’ve rarely seen anyone do it successfully.
There’s actually no exact definition of kink, so feel free to say that what you do is or isn’t kinky.
Your sexuality is an experience, not a category. Shakespeare had it right—a rose smells the same no matter what you call it.
But you might be more willing to smell something if I told you it was a flower rather than a skunk. And so some people stay away from exploring sexual behaviors they might enjoy just because they think the activities are “kinky”—“and,” they emphasize, “I’m not a kinky person.”