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Sexual Intelligence® Blog: Latest Posts

Philip Roth Dies—Survived By A Great Sexual Mirror

Philip Roth has died at age 85. The New York Times obituary calls him “a pre-eminent figure in 20th-century literature.” Winning the National Book Award at age 27 with his very first book (Goodbye, Columbus), Roth spent his incredibly productive career portraying and discussing sexuality. Our sexuality: our irrational lust, our solipsistic passions, the messy surprises.  These feelings and experiences are both universal and intensely private. That Roth could capture them so well is near-miraculous. That he would be excoriated for revealing them is absolutely predictable. Roth endured over half a century of blistering outrage by readers and non-readers alike–outrage…

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How People Make Sex Too Complicated—and Harder to Enjoy

Every week, people tell me exactly how they make sex way too complicated, and therefore difficult or impossible to enjoy. They don’t realize they’re saying that, of course. I wish I could just say “Stop making sex more complicated than necessary!” But I’m afraid effective therapy isn’t quite that simple. Here are some examples of how people undermine their own sexual satisfaction. “We have sex before I’m ready” In this scenario “sex” almost invariably means “intercourse.” When a woman in couples therapy says this, she generally expects me to turn to her male partner and say “You selfish bastard! Stop…

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