Sexual Intelligence Blog

Two Kinds of Sex—Enjoyment and Identity

People have sex for many different reasons. The more obvious reasons are pleasure and closeness (and for a few people, conceiving). The covert reasons (which a person may or may not be aware of) include feeling attractive; feeling powerful; feeling normal; wanting something in return; and getting revenge on a third party.

This is all pretty standard stuff.

But for many people these days, sex seems to be about something else entirely—not so much about sex as an activity, but as an idea. An identity. A statement of self, of tribe, of belonging. Maybe as a focus of civil rights activism.

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Sexual Diversity: Beyond Gender & Orientation

The world has come a long way in recognizing the diversity of human sexual experience.

In 1948, it was revolutionary for biologist Alfred Kinsey to describe sexual orientation as a continuum (from exclusively homoerotic to exclusively heteroerotic), challenging the prevailing binary model.

Gradually, society recognized consensual non-monogamy, BDSM, fantasy role-playing, paraphilias, and a broad range of sexual expression. Now Americans openly discussion gender non-binaries and an increasing number of sexual orientations. So who’s being left out…

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