Sexual Etiquette

One night stand

Q: What’s the best way to make a clean getaway after a one-night stand? You wake up, she’s there, what should you do?

Dr. Klein: You should do what you do, hopefully, in all your other interactions: be gracious, responsible, truthful, and courteous. That means:

• you don’t try to sneak out without waking her.
• you don’t lie and say “I’ll call you.”
• you say “thank you.”
• you express regret that “this isn’t working out.”
• you don’t pick a fight as a way of avoiding having to talk with her.
• you give her a chance to say she’s regretful or angry or whatever (thus, you take responsibility for your decision to have sex with her; if you’re not willing to do this, which can be uncomfortable, you shouldn’t be playing in the first place); you don’t contradict her or defend yourself.
• you say, “I plan to keep our little experience to myself, and hope you will too. I certainly bear you no ill will.”
• you close the door quietly, although not guiltily, on the way out.