Relationships/Emotions

Sex before going steady

Q: I am having a problem with my girl: she wants sex but we aren’t officially a couple. Therefore I don’t feel right about having sex with her. I want to tell her but don’t know how.

Dr. Klein: The only question here is, do you want to be a couple? If so, tell her. If not, tell her. Then you can talk with her about sex. Find a time when you’re feeling close, and just say “I really like you and I’m glad we feel good together. I think sex is special, so I only want to do it with my special girlfriend.” Then depending on what you want, say either “So, I’d really like if you’d be my special girlfriend,” and discuss exactly what that means, or say “So, since we’re not an official couple, that rules us out for sex. I hope you understand.”