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Sexual Intelligence® Blog: Latest Posts

The State Of Our Sexual Freedom

Approaching the anniversary of our country’s freedom, what’s the state of our own sexual freedom?

There are many external restrictions on our erotic expression such as the criminalization of abortion, attempts to eliminate adult pornography, and the censorship of both school and adult libraries.

But there are many internal restrictions we place on our own sexual expression–and these prevent us from using the sexual rights that we do have.

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“Are We Incompatible?”

Many couples who ask me if they’re incompatible ARE. But they don’t want to hear it, certainly not that directly.

These people often love each other, and think that “love” is enough to make a relationship work. But it isn’t. Shared values are crucial, and many loving couples lack these.

Sexual discrepancies–desire, frequency, variety, etc.–are among the hardest to navigate. Therapy may be of only limited help in such a situation.

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Mental Health: Are Therapy Words Helping?

It’s Mental Health Awareness month.

Each year it focusses on connection, self-care, mindfulness, therapy, self-reflection, and sleep—all good things. Ironically, sponsor Mental Health America recommends using social media to spread the word about the importance of mental health—sort of like encouraging people to drive drunk to AA meetings.

While self-care, community, and other things are vital to emotional stability, let’s also remind ourselves of common ways we undermine our own mental health. There are obvious ways—misusing alcohol, participating in violence, dangerous sex, isolating from loved ones, gambling more than we can afford. Here’s some free advice: don’t do that stuff.

More subtly, there are everyday words and ideas we use that lead us away from mental health. Unfortunately, many of them come from the therapy industry. Let’s look at some.

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International Clitoris Day

Today is International Clitoris Day! If you have a clitoris, appreciate it; if you care for someone who does have one, well, tell them you’re glad they do.

Here are a dozen facts about the clitoris that you might not know. They’re good icebreakers at parties, airport lounges, or while you’re receiving a speeding ticket.

FACT: The clitoris is the only organ in the human body…

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