Sexuality Through the Lifecycle

Most of us develop our ideas about sexuality in our late teens and early 20s—when our bodies are relatively strong, flexible, and mostly pain-free. But our bodies change as we go through our 30s, 40, 50s, and beyond, so we need a model of sexuality, desire, and attractiveness that doesn’t depend on those youthful bodies. Unless we understand and accept our body’s changes, and adapt our sexual expectations and activities to them, we’re inviting sexual frustration and even dysfunction.

This talk addresses what people can expect regarding desire, erectile function, lubrication, orgasm, preferences, and other aspects of sexuality as they age. We’ll discuss hormones, erection drugs, and the effects of various medications on sexuality—an increasing concern as we all take more pills as we age. We’ll discuss everyone’s desire to be attractive—while living in a culture that glamorizes youth and celebrity (often cosmetically-enhanced) nudity.

And finally, we will address the most common question about sex: what is normal? My intriguing answer may surprise you, challenge your thinking, and probably reassure you. My Sexual Intelligence model emphasizes what people really want from sex (which typically isn’t endless, heroic orgasms), and encourages people to use their normal, everyday skills to make sex more enjoyable.

Other issues discussed:

  • The role of chronic pain in desire and satisfaction
  • Post-surgical sexual adjustment
  • How “outercourse” can be a key part of a healthy sexual relationship
  • Senior, single, and (sort-of) sexual
  • Parts of our sexuality that can remain consistent as we age
  • If sexual communication is important, what should you communicate about?
  • Porn and the role of fantasy as we get older
  • The importance of laughter, relaxation, and self-acceptance in enjoyable sex