Blaming porn for what’s wrong with our sex lives is easy. But when men behave like jerks in bed, there’s are always reasons. Talking about them–instead of blaming porn–is uncomfortable, but way more productive.
People want more passion in long-term (and even some new) relationships.
The solution may involve saying goodbye to our youthful model of intense desire, and creating a relaxed, communicative model of sexual interest that is sustainable through the lifecycle.
Last week I gave a weekend retreat for a dozen couples in Chicago. They wanted bedroom tricks; instead, I focused on self-acceptance, relaxation, being present, and communication. Why is this more important?
What challenges will couples face in 2018 regarding sex, love, and intimacy? Dealing with infidelity, pornography, desire issues, and conflict management. What do these have in common?
To improve sex, people use Viagra, hormones, street drugs, and supplements. But the largest-selling sex drug by far is alcohol. That’s true for all ages, genders, and income levels.
Some of my patients count orgasms. Sometimes they count their own, but more often, they count their partners’. Both men and women do this. “When my wife doesn’t climax, I feel I haven’t done my job,” says Max. “When a boyfriend doesn’t orgasm, I figure it’s because I don’t turn him on enough,” says Maria. “I want to totally satisfy my husband every time, says Claire. “I don’t want LaShonda to think I’m selfish, or that I don’t care,” says Marcus, “so I try to make her cum no matter how long it takes.” Listening to people say such things,…