I’ve lived through a lot of serious change in my lifetime: microwave ovens, smartphones & social media, the interstate highway system, the internet, the invention of frozen yogurt.
Sexuality, however, is still more or less the same: what people want, what people fear, what people can’t talk about, what people don’t understand about their bodies.
A recent New York Times piece interviewed sex therapists (no, not me, but several of my highly respected friends), asking…
In a recent national study, more than half the female respondents reported faking an orgasm at least once. A quarter of male respondents said that they had, too.
We know why people fake orgasms…
And we know how most people can orgasm more reliably…
But do remember: If you think orgasm is the best part of sex, you’re missing the best part of sex.
Pressuring a partner to have sex will, over time, poison the relationship. Similarly, if someone acquiesces to sex they don’t want, over and over, that will poison the relationship, too.
Men should stop doing the first, and women should stop doing the second.
And by the way, no one “needs” sex a certain amount every week (or month or year). Some people WANT it much more frequently than they have it–but that’s NOT the same…
Let’s look at some words in our sexual vocabulary that we should define, change, or eliminate altogether. Lay people aren’t the only ones to use these unhelpful words. They’re also used by doctors, journalists, and therapists. Together, they add up to a narrative of sex as problematic, even dangerous.
Change or eliminate these words, and you’ll make your sexual communication clearer–and your sex more enjoyable.
As it did under President Bush, today’s America’s War On Sex is going to touch everybody. And it’s going to get worse.
There ARE things you can do about that. Next week we’ll talk about political action; right now, let’s talk about specific personal changes you can make to not just protect, but to enhance your sexual experiences. In no particular order…
Yes, our sexual rights are under attack in dreadful ways. But let’s be thankful for the sexual freedoms, technologies, and options we do have right now. I’ve chosen some that many people don’t take full advantage of—and I encourage you to do so.