You’re having sex with a new person: Do you feel excited? Anxious? Self-conscious? Lonely?
Are you so busy trying to do it right that you don’t have much bandwidth available for pleasure?
Three factors shape our experience of sex with a new partner: communication; self-consciousness; and the use of alcohol.
Here are seven different ways in which sex with a new partner can be disappointing–and what you can…
One of the most common problems people come to see me about?
“I have low desire.”
“He has low desire.”
“She has low desire.”
In response, I ask lots of questions. We talk. And at least half the time, I surprise people: “I don’t think this is a desire issue.”
Saying no to something when you don’t expect to enjoy it isn’t a “problem,” it’s common sense.
It’s Valentine’s Day, and so many people are thinking about sex.
Most people won’t do it tonight (there’s no day of the year when “most people” have sex), but in case you do, here are some tips you probably won’t read elsewhere. In fact, they’ll contradict some of the most popular advice.
BTW, no equipment or weight loss is needed for any of these.
2023 was a full year for Sexual Intelligence.
My newsletter now goes to almost 8,000 people every month. That’s in addition to my Sexual Intelligence blog for Psychology Today, which gets 1,100 hits per DAY.
This year I covered my usual topics: making sex more enjoyable; examining America’s War on Sex; explaining & critiquing sex therapy and couples therapy; and sex in the news, including both dark and light-hearted…
They each had a Ph.D, had been married for three years, and obviously trusted and loved each other. And neither one knew a vagina from, well, a hole in the ground.
Their parents were pressuring them to have children as soon as possible, but it “just wasn’t happening,” so they figured they’d have to go through artificial fertility treatments.
Su’s gynecologist suggested they see me before they did, “just in case” I could say something helpful.
The NY Times just reviewed vibrators as a normal consumer product.
But Facebook rejects ads for sex toys, and some states restrict their sale.
Pleasure is part of sexual health. But
America’s War on Sex continues to demonize anything that makes sex healthier, easier, safer, or more enjoyable.