“I caught him betraying me,” wailed the email from a stranger named Mary. “He’s been watching porn. Why? And how can I ever trust him again when he watches women do anything he wants?”
I get one or more emails like this every single week.
Talking with kids about porn is essential–and the sooner you think they’ll see it, the sooner you should talk with them about it.
People rarely discuss what porn leaves out.
Today’s internet porn is a visual medium (as compared with, say, the ancient Greek poems of Sappho or the 18th-century novels of the Marquis de Sade). That means it leaves out anything that isn’t visually compelling. And as it happens, a lot of what makes sex satisfying in real life is boring to watch on film.
Last night I spoke to about 300 students at Ohlone College in Northern California. The topic was Pornography 2016: PornPanic, Public Health, & Porn Literacy. It went just fine, and as always, I was eager to hear people’s questions. Here are some that everyone seemed interested in, along with a short version of my answers. “There’s certain stuff my boyfriend sees in porn that he wants to try. I don’t really want to do it, but he says everyone does. What should I do?” To start with, the question isn’t what should I do; it’s what should we (you and…
This week I was interviewed by journalist Amanda Marcotte of Salon.com about pornography. You can see the 20-minute video here: https://goo.gl/QlD9O6. After a bit of small talk, we got down to it: What if you fantasize about sex with kangaroos? Should we bring back the psychiatric diagnosis of Possessed By The Devil? And is there such a thing as porn addiction? Ah, porn addiction. It really does matter what we call these things. We know it matters if someone is “diagnosed” as a “frigid bitch,” or a “women-hating queer,” or a “nympho.” So of course it matters if something is…
Shmuley Boteach and Pamela Anderson have co-authored an article about pornography in the Wall Street Journal. It starts by decrying the “devastation of porn addiction” and ends by saying that “porn is for losers.” Boteach is a Rabbi who has spent years telling people that sex should be restricted to committed, loving relationships. He says […]