Why do 100,000,000 people care about the trivial incident involving the Coldplay concert’s KissCam?
Why are people participating in, and revelling in, the destruction of these two strangers?
How are we supposed to be fully human in a world like this? And what’s it like for every young person to be growing up in public now?
“A client wonders if she’s bisexual. How do I help her decide?”
“A patient thinks he’s asexual. How do I evaluate this?”
I provide case consultations for many therapists each month, and questions like these are not unusual. Much to the surprise of my colleagues, I generally say that they—and their patients—are asking the wrong question.
Many therapists say that labels such as “bisexual,” “asexual,” and “demisexual” give people permission to (finally) be who they are. But I say…
Who exactly is a “trans” person?
If your answer is “anyone who says they’re trans,” that just changes the question to “Who says they’re trans?” It matters.
“Trans” used to mean “transsexual.” Now it means “transgender”—a huge difference. Most transsexuals were men. Now most transgenders are women.
The reasons for this change are as significant as the change itself.
Despite the extraordinary amount of good information that’s available, the number of people who are sexually frustrated, disappointed, confused, anxious, or clueless hasn’t declined. In fact, young people today have less sex than young people did 10, 20, or 30 years ago.
The reasons include the usual suspects: selecting an incompatible partner; religious & cultural beliefs that sexual desire is dangerous; poor communication skills; insecurity about desires, fantasies, or one’s body.
But today there’s another culprit undermining sexual desire and satisfaction: social media.
Every Halloween, I’m reminded of the fear and rage stoked by America’s Sexual Disaster Industry.
We’re supposed to believe our communities are filled with potential child molesters, and fear any registered sex offenders living in our neighborhoods–despite the fact that their recidivism rate is lower than that of murderers, arsonists, and violent burglars.
World-famous sex educator Ruth Westheimer died this month, aged 96.
To virtually every American now over 50 (and millions of young ‘uns), she was known as Dr. Ruth, the funny little old lady who revolutionized the way sex was discussed in mainstream media. From radio to TV, magazines, and newspapers, she made it OK to talk about sex using plain language to discuss plain things.
Back in the dinosaur days before 1980, the media didn’t talk about sex without smirking and euphemisms. Sex was intercourse, women who couldn’t climax from it were “frigid,” and old people weren’t sexual at all. And most TV sitcom couples still slept in separate beds.
Almost 50 years later, it’s easy to take potshots at Dr. Ruth’s of-her-time limitations. But today’s sexual identity activists should realize that all too soon, the future will judge many of their views as old-fashioned, naive, breathlessly emotional, or just plain wrong.