Sex Therapist’s Couch

Desire for What?

Every January I look back over the previous year’s cases. And while some issues come and go, one thing is consistent year after year: I always see a lot of couples in conflict about each other’s sexual desire.

People are more than “high desire” or “low desire,” but they–and professionals–tend to use these categories, even though they can complicate things.

Continue Reading
0 Comments

I’m Tired of (Some) Erections

I’m tired of erections. Well, not all erections.

I’m tired of the erections that people think are so meaningful when they don’t get them. As in, “I don’t get erections, so there’s something wrong with me.” Or “He doesn’t get erections, which means he doesn’t care for me.”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sympathetic about people’s concerns. But…

Continue Reading
0 Comments

Romance & Spontaneity—Not Always the Best Sexual Goals

Joel and Marissa are very nice people. They care for each other and plan to spend their lives together. Each of them has very little sexual experience, however, and they’re having trouble getting into any sort of intimate rhythm together.

They’ve come to me while grappling with a perfect storm: very little sexual experience, very little knowledge about sex and bodies, and a lot of anxiety about sexual activity and competence. This would be enough to make sex difficult for anyone.

Continue Reading
0 Comments