Sex therapy often gets great results.
What are the principles of sexual and relationship satisfaction that successful patients learn? Here are six of them, along with stories of couples & individuals who…
Many of my patients feel powerless around sexuality.
In fact, psychological risk-taking is one of the greatest gifts sex has to offer.
Most of the judgements that we fear from others (“she’ll think I’m a pervert”) we actually fear from ourselves. Most of our fear about “failing” sexually is a response to arbitrary standards that we could actually break with impunity. And limiting sex to what’s “dignified” or “manly” or “feminist” or “anti-racist”…
Some people would rather be right than enjoy sex.
They demand that sex be a certain way, no matter how narrow or unrealistic—or pointless—that is.
Many people could improve their sex lives without their partner having to change at all. What else could you ask for?
Is non-monogamy a viable option? Of course—but not for everyone. It is NOT a good way to fix a broken relationship. And it takes lots of thoughtful communication.
And is poly really a sexual orientation?
Sex is usually about more than just sex.
So to improve our sex lives, it’s often necessary to explore and discuss non-sexual things.
Here are examples of patients who wondered “Why are we talking about this instead of sex?” Our successful therapy showed them why.
Encouraged by his parents and his parents’ church, Juan had made a deal with God when he was 12: he’d stay a virgin until he married. In return he’d get a wonderful virgin wife, and they’d love each other and have a glorious sex life with God’s blessing.
It only partly worked.