Many of my patients feel powerless around sexuality.
In fact, psychological risk-taking is one of the greatest gifts sex has to offer.
Most of the judgements that we fear from others (“she’ll think I’m a pervert”) we actually fear from ourselves. Most of our fear about “failing” sexually is a response to arbitrary standards that we could actually break with impunity. And limiting sex to what’s “dignified” or “manly” or “feminist” or “anti-racist”…
Healthcare professionals can do a great job of answering our questions about sex–if we ask them.
Here are some examples of what we should ask our doctor, nurse, or physical therapist–and what we should tell them about our sexuality if they don’t ask.
Masturbation is one of life’s miracles.
With just a small investment of time and attention, it can provide pleasure (& comfort, autonomy, exploration, & better sleep) on demand.
So what can go wrong?
I trust most children to accurately know if they’re hungry, cold, or need a bathroom. I don’t trust children to accurately know if they require medicine, should take math class, or need to lose weight.
Do you?
I trust children to know if they feel uncomfortable, unhappy, lonely, isolated, or different. I don’t trust children to know the best ways to resolve those feelings (it’s our job to teach them). And the more extreme their suggestions are, the less we should trust them.
Many people are having sex despite—or because of—COVID restrictions on the rest of our lives. And over 99% of the people having sex this weekend do NOT want to conceive.
Fortunately, there are many ways to enjoy sex without unintentionally conceiving.
Is anxiety increasing or decreasing your desire? Do you have enough contraception on hand? And with kids in the house, who’s having sex anyway?
Here are some thoughts about sexual aspects of our lives in a time of pandemic.