I was on a podcast yesterday when the interviewer (call her Claire) said something like “Well, of course everyone wants to feel connected during sex.”
“No,” I replied. “Well, no grownup really wants sex to be like, just two bodies hammering away at each other.” Again I disagreed: “Sometimes grownups do,” I said.
She was both exasperated and curious. “Well, if connection isn’t the universal thing people want from sex, what is?” “There isn’t a universal thing that everyone wants from sex,” I said. She…