Sexual Intelligence Blog

Memo to Southwest Air: Women’s Bodies Are OK

If you fly, of course you hate to fly. As if air travel isn’t repulsive enough these days, Southwest Airlines has found a new way to make passengers angry. Southwest tried to boot a shapely 23-year-old college student off a flight recently because one person complained about the way she was dressed. A customer “service” (there’s an oxymoron) supervisor named Keith told San Diego passenger Kyla Ebbert that her miniskirt, high-heel sandals, and sweater-over-tank top (over a bra) was “inappropriate” for a family airline. After berating the woman and telling her to go home, change, and catch a later flight,…

Continue Reading
0 Comments

Is A Good Mortgage Like Geriatric Sex?

As if dealing with the awful sight of model Heidi Klum’s boobs in a Jordache ad isn’t painful enough, Americans also have to deal with that little mortgage thing that threatens to eat everyone’s home. Apparently, Australia can discuss both—sex and mortgages—at once. Local lender Virgin Money’s new print and TV ads show a naked old couple being very, very affectionate. In America, the response would be, ‘how do we keep men, women, and children from contracting polio, HIV, and permanent brain damage from this lascivious ad?’ In Australia, by contrast, the question is, “will these lascivious ads help sell…

Continue Reading
0 Comments

Dear Larry Craig: Now You Know…

Dear Larry Craig: Now you know what it’s like. I don’t say this in a mean way, I’m just pointing out a simple fact: Now you know what it’s like. You already knew what it’s like to be terrified of being found out. You already knew what it’s like to hide who you are. But like millions of other Americans, now you know what it’s like: * To lose a job because of your sexuality * To be entrapped and then busted for inviting consensual, adult sex * To be told you don’t belong where you know you do belong…

Continue Reading
0 Comments

Seminar & Case Consult: Los Angeles

Existential Issues In Sex Therapy & Couples Counseling Existential issues are internal conflicts arising from the ongoing, inescapable confrontation with the givens of human existence–isolation, powerlessness, responsibility, death, and the desire for meaning. Most people defend themselves from fully acknowledging such realities. Therapy needs to illuminate how these defenses shape the behavior and thinking that brings people into therapy. We can help patients understand that truths like the following—rather than their presenting problems—are the issues with which they are really grappling: * Loving involves pain and, ultimately, abandonment or separation * We are responsible for how we express our feelings–regardless…

Continue Reading
0 Comments

Sexual Interest in Men Does NOT Make Larry Craig Gay

Larry Craig says he’s not gay. I believe him. A lot of men who have sex with men aren’t gay. Life was simple before 1948: someone was either 100% heterosexual or they were queer (note to young people: that’s what gays were called in the old days). But then biologist Alfred Kinsey studied Americans’ sexuality in detail, and as he discovered, “people are not so easily divided into sheeps and goats.” Kinsey determined that almost half of American men had both heterosexual and same-gender experiences as adults. Like heterosexual women, men also had same-gender sexual fantasies, preferences, and desires. And…

Continue Reading
0 Comments

Religious Freedom: More Important Than Sexual Freedom?

There’s nothing as educational—or aggravating—as monitoring the websites and listserves of anti-freedom activists. Over the years, I’ve discussed Morality in Media, Parents Television Council, Abstinence Clearinghouse, Jerry Falwell, James Dobson, and many others committed to undermining America’s unique, life-affirming promises of secular liberty. Their mission is bad enough (God-awful, you might say), but it’s extra-aggravating when they describe their work as defending Americans’ liberty. One such group is the Rutherford Institute, a 501(c)(3) (that means you and I subsidize it), which claims it’s “dedicated to the defense of civil liberties and human rights.” Rutherford lawyers have cynically leaped to the…

Continue Reading
0 Comments