Many couples who ask me if they’re incompatible ARE. But they don’t want to hear it, certainly not that directly.
These people often love each other, and think that “love” is enough to make a relationship work. But it isn’t. Shared values are crucial, and many loving couples lack these.
Sexual discrepancies–desire, frequency, variety, etc.–are among the hardest to navigate. Therapy may be of only limited help in such a situation.
It’s Mental Health Awareness month.
Each year it focusses on connection, self-care, mindfulness, therapy, self-reflection, and sleep—all good things. Ironically, sponsor Mental Health America recommends using social media to spread the word about the importance of mental health—sort of like encouraging people to drive drunk to AA meetings.
While self-care, community, and other things are vital to emotional stability, let’s also remind ourselves of common ways we undermine our own mental health. There are obvious ways—misusing alcohol, participating in violence, dangerous sex, isolating from loved ones, gambling more than we can afford. Here’s some free advice: don’t do that stuff.
More subtly, there are everyday words and ideas we use that lead us away from mental health. Unfortunately, many of them come from the therapy industry. Let’s look at some.
Today is International Clitoris Day! If you have a clitoris, appreciate it; if you care for someone who does have one, well, tell them you’re glad they do.
Here are a dozen facts about the clitoris that you might not know. They’re good icebreakers at parties, airport lounges, or while you’re receiving a speeding ticket.
FACT: The clitoris is the only organ in the human body…
The First Amendment states that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.”
In 1789, this was revolutionary. It repudiated the fundamental relationship of religion and politics that had existed for thousands of years: you had better worship the king’s god(s)—to do otherwise was treason, punishable by death.
Four states have taken a giant step backwards by requiring that school post the Ten Commandments in every schoolroom.
We already know where this leads: restrictions on our sexual decision-making.
Every week or two, a new patient complains that their partner rarely initiates sex. The new patient expects me to figure out why—and more importantly, how to get their partner to change and initiate more.
People who rarely initiate sex fall into one of three categories, which we’ll discuss below.
But let’s also look at the inverse: why do some people get so distressed when their partner doesn’t initiate?
Faced with a problem or decision, many Americans turn to AI for advice. Since AI accesses the world’s printed & posted knowledge, why wouldn’t you ask it for advice? And if you do, why bother with therapy?
The answer lies in (1) the mission of AI; (2) the contrasting mission of therapy, and (3) the nature of empathy.