“Daddy, what’s that?”
“It’s a vending machine. You put in a dollar and buy something.”
“Like a soda machine? Does it sell soda? I want a soda.”
“Yes, like a soda machine. No, it doesn’t sell soda.”
“What does it sell?”
“Stuff for adults.”
“Like what?”
“Condoms.”
“What’s that?”
“Condoms are what people use when they have sex, and they don’t want to create a baby, and it also helps keep them healthy.”
“So why are they here in the bathroom at the airport?”
“They have these machines in all the bathrooms of the Vancouver airport.”
“But people don’t have sex in the airport, do they daddy? So why do they have the machines here?”
“No, people don’t have sex in the airport. But some people find it convenient to pick up a few condoms when they’re going someplace. Sometimes they forget to bring them from home, or they see the machine and decide they might need them.”
“Vancouver is my favorite airport. Are these special machines just for the Vancouver airport?”
“No, there are condom machines in all the airports in Canada. At least all the Canadian airports I’ve been in, which is a bunch.”
“Are there condom machines in every airport bathroom in the world?”
“No, some countries have them, and some don’t.”
“Like Germany?”
“Yes.”
“Like China?”
“I don’t know, I’ve never been to China.”
“Like the U.S.? Will we see them this summer when we visit Grandma?”
“No, they don’t have condom machines in U.S. airports.”
“Don’t people use condoms in the U.S.?”
“Not everybody. But millions of people, sure.”
“So why don’t they have condom machines in the airports there?”
“I don’t know. I think some Americans don’t want kids to see the machines.”
“Why not?”
“I guess they’re afraid that kids will get the wrong idea, or ask a bunch of questions.”
“What kind of wrong idea? Is it bad to use condoms?”
“No, it’s a really good idea if you’re having sex.”
“So what kind of questions don’t they want kids to ask? Questions like mine?”
“Yes, my son, questions like yours. There are no condom machines in U.S. airport bathrooms because people are afraid kids will ask questions like yours.”
“Um, I don’t get it. But I think they should have soda machines in the bathroom, too.”