In modern America, sexual expression can’t simply be a private act.
Whether people acknowledge it or not, America’s ongoing War On Sex means that each sexual choice we make either challenges or supports a complex political ecology. This structure involves fundamental issues like who controls our bodies; whose relationships are legitimate; which activities are considered “normal”; and the role of erotic pleasure in the lives of adults and of children.
Consider the current sexual issues now under scrutiny by the government: pornography, contraception, sex education, fantasy (via AI and online groups), sexual healthcare, the morning-after pill, medical school training, even drag shows (restricted for minors in 6 states). The government wants to control every one of these, reducing or eliminating our access to them.
Some 20 years ago I wrote a book describing how the Religious Right was using the issue of sexual expression to undermine the separation of church & state. That project has been wildly successful:
~ Science-based sex education no longer exists in public schools.
~ Parts of the Bible are required reading in Texas public schools.
~ Licensed pharmacists are allowed to withhold emergency contraception from adult customers.
~ Less than half of American adults have full access to abortion in their own state. And less than half of Ob/gyn residents are trained to provide abortion procedures.
~ Twenty-seven states currently require consumers to show government ID in order to access adult pornography at home.
But let’s say you don’t care about things like this. So why does sex still matter in 2026?
~ It’s a way to experience our autonomy. Once you and a partner have agreed to go to bed, you can together do almost anything you like, experiencing your personal power. As the Italians say, “Bed is the poor man’s opera.”
~ Enjoyable sex requires, and therefore helps develop, empathy, self-disclosure, and communication.
~ In an age of increasingly virtual interactions and online relating, real sex is, well, real. It’s part of reclaiming and insisting on our heritage as humans (i.e., non-robots).
~ For people whose childhood was scarred with messages of “you don’t matter” or “your body is damaged” or even “your body doesn’t belong to you,” consensual, affectionate sex can be quite healing. It can be a path to someone realizing that they are actually loveable.
~ It’s a singularly fruitful place in which to observe and possibly question the power dynamics in a relationship.
~ Pointless sex—that is, sex for pleasure, when people aren’t starving for sex—is so mistrusted by Christian nationalists that it must be considered revolutionary. This is especially true regarding female sexuality—which, taken seriously, threatens the world view of millions.
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Despite plenty of opportunity, more of today’s young Americans haven’t had sex (and don’t especially want to) than at any time in the last half-century. What exactly is it that they don’t want—vulnerability? Connection? Embodied experience? Pleasure that transcends identity? The more this cohort—historically quite horny—avoids sex, the more important sex seems.
In George Orwell’s 1949 dystopian novel 1984, he described a society in which sex was permitted only within marriage, in order to create children “for the service of the Party [government].” Since pleasure and intimacy were private, and therefore outside the Party’s control, they were criminalized.
Ultimately, sex matters because if enough people care about it, they just might care that the government is legally and economically restricting it —and get involved in challenging the government’s attacks on what should be private behavior.
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