What could unite the PTA, Christian Coalition and American Library Association? The goal of protecting kids–from a law that supposedly protects them.
Just weeks ago, former President Bill Clinton signed the Child Internet Protection Act into law, requiring any library receiving federal funds to install filtering software on its Internet-access computers. Ostensibly to make computers “safe” for young children, the federal government has just fired the latest shot in the nation’s culture wars.
In his classic 1978 book “Male Sexuality” (now available as “The New Male Sexuality”), Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld discussed the concept of conditions for good sex. He said that everyone has conditions, or requirements, for enjoying sex. I believe conditions can be divided into three categories: those about ourselves, about the environment, and about our partner.
Most people have sexual fantasies. Role-playing involves a certain kind of fantasy, and a certain relationship to that fantasy. It requires a conscious acknowledgment of the fantasy; furthermore, it involves sharing that fantasy with a partner, who, presumably, consents to participate in it.
In my 20 years as a sex therapist, people continue to ask me one question more than any other. The most common sexual question is “Am I normal?”
Americans are concerned — virtually obsessed — with the normality of their sexual fantasies, preferences, responses, frequency, secrets, turn-offs, problems, and bodies. The fear of being sexually abnormal interferes with and even prevents pleasure and intimacy.
The Phoenix, AZ City Council recently decided to eliminate sex clubs for adults. Do you feel safer now?
The Council says that government has a right to protect public morals, and that having sex in front of (consenting) others is by definition immoral. They don’t need proof that nude dancing leads to harm, they said; it’s enough that the majority of its citizens allegedly “knows” it’s wrong. They also claim that sex clubs spread “disease,” although no legislator, public safety officer, or public health professional could produce any evidence to support this.
Most Americans do not want to discuss sexual issues rationally. Their sexuality poisoned by the culture, they just want their emotional pain taken away. To people afraid of sexuality, censorship looks attractive. It appears to be a solution to the pain. This pain, this fear of sexuality, leads people to support censorship.