With all the current media attention to drag queens, pronouns, polyamory, and a few felons with penises demanding to be jailed in women’s cellblocks, it’s easy to forget that these aren’t the central concerns of most people.
While issues like these can be fascinating (and legitimately important to a very small number of people), most people’s sexual concerns are far more pedestrian.
It’s easy to forget that the central sexual concerns of most people do NOT involve orientation or identity.
The reason that abortion rights are disappearing is NOT that judges are primarily male. Blaming The Patriarchy or misogyny is a losing political position.
So are extreme Progressive positions about gender and identity, which most people care far less about than mainstream issues like abortion.
People have sex for many different reasons. The more obvious reasons are pleasure and closeness (and for a few people, conceiving). The covert reasons (which a person may or may not be aware of) include feeling attractive; feeling powerful; feeling normal; wanting something in return; and getting revenge on a third party.
This is all pretty standard stuff.
But for many people these days, sex seems to be about something else entirely—not so much about sex as an activity, but as an idea. An identity. A statement of self, of tribe, of belonging. Maybe as a focus of civil rights activism.
Unlike other blogs and sexperts, I don’t offer to help you have mind-blowing sex.
But using words, lube, breathing, and socks, here’s how you can have sex that’s easier, more enjoyable, and more emotionally satisfying.
Since most adults usually have sex when they’re tired…
Periodically, I complain about what doctors don’t know about sex, or about how they mishandle sexual cases. Today I want to talk about doctors who get it right. They’re my heroes.
Topics range from Viagra to birth control to abstinence to…
The world has come a long way in recognizing the diversity of human sexual experience.
In 1948, it was revolutionary for biologist Alfred Kinsey to describe sexual orientation as a continuum (from exclusively homoerotic to exclusively heteroerotic), challenging the prevailing binary model.
Gradually, society recognized consensual non-monogamy, BDSM, fantasy role-playing, paraphilias, and a broad range of sexual expression. Now Americans openly discussion gender non-binaries and an increasing number of sexual orientations. So who’s being left out…