Sexual Intelligence® Blog: Latest Posts

The Scariest Halloween Goblin: Sex Offenders

Every Halloween, in virtually every community, some obsessed individuals play out their heroic rescue fantasies by scaring everyone else about the dangers our precious kids face from strangers waiting to molest them.

Websites, local newspapers, TV morning shows, and activist groups dutifully repeat the same story: that people on Sex Offender Registries right in your own town are treacherous.

And yet the data…

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Let’s Talk Vaginas

They each had a Ph.D, had been married for three years, and obviously trusted and loved each other. And neither one knew a vagina from, well, a hole in the ground.

Their parents were pressuring them to have children as soon as possible, but it “just wasn’t happening,” so they figured they’d have to go through artificial fertility treatments.

Su’s gynecologist suggested they see me before they did, “just in case” I could say something helpful.

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What Sex Therapy Can’t Do

Sex therapy, first developed by Masters & Johnson in the early 1960s, can be wonderful—life-changing, cost-effective, marriage- (and therefore family-) saving.

But we can’t do everything that people want or need. Here are some things I’m asked to do periodically, which I just don’t know how to do—and I doubt that my colleagues, can, either.

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The Pride Flag Dilemma

All kids deserve to feel accepted and safe at school.

When public schools promote Pride Month or fly the Pride flag next to the Stars & Stripes, they’re teaching kids that the best way to get adult attention–positive or negative–is to express childhood angst in the vocabulary of gender & orientation struggles.

Yes, Pride should mean acceptance of all kids. But kids who struggle with other issues—such as an alcoholic parent, a years-long bout of intense acne, early puberty, or guilt about masturbation–don’t get the same attention, aren’t perceived as cool, and don’t have nearly the same community or sense of identity.

Of course there are kids who struggle about gender

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