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Sexual Intelligence® Blog: Latest Posts

What is NOT a porn problem?

by on ·Pornography & Porn Addiction, Sexual Intelligence Blog

Whenever I write or lecture about pornography, some wives and girlfriends eagerly respond with stories that supposedly prove how damaging pornography is. Examples include:~ He tells me I should look or act more like a porn star ~ He leaves porn around the house where the kids can find it ~ He insists on sexual activities with me that I don’t want ~ He won’t have sex with me anymore ~ He watches porn and then hits me ~ He’ll only have sex with me if we look at porn together ~ He ignores me if he doesn’t get enough…

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Erections, Car Wrecks, and “Manliness”

by on ·Sex Therapist's Couch, Sexual Intelligence Blog

Every week, I deal with men terribly anxious about losing or strengthening their “manliness.” A lot of women are concerned about their mate’s “manliness,” too. They all measure it by referring to an erection—a small bit of flesh which comes and goes as it pleases. I think it’s rather pointless for people to be measuring their own or others’ manliness–especially if measure it by something that’s outside the man’s control.

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Shaving, Waxing, or Bushy—Letting Women be Women

by on ·Pornography & Porn Addiction, Sex & Culture, Sexual Intelligence Blog

I recently spoke in Vancouver, Canada, at one of the city’s most progressive hospitals. Afterwards, several medical staff came up to thank me.

One doc said, “I’m uncomfortable with so many women shaving or waxing their pubic mounds. It just looks to me like women responding to cultural pressure—mostly men and porn—to look like little girls.” I disagreed, and asked…

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