Men are people, and women are people. Treating them like “men” or “women” prevents us from thinking clearly about what they say and do.
Thinking of “men” and “women” as separate tribes will NOT help us understand each other.
Philip Roth spent his incredibly productive career portraying our sexuality: our irrational lust, our solipsistic passions, the messy surprises. Many people resented this—not because he was wrong, but because he was right.
Many therapists are not sexually literate—and they can harm people unintentionally. If your therapist seems uncomfortable talking about sex, challenge them—and perhaps replace them.
Blaming porn for what’s wrong with our sex lives is easy. But when men behave like jerks in bed, there’s are always reasons. Talking about them–instead of blaming porn–is uncomfortable, but way more productive.
BDSM: Why do some people enjoy this? Are they mentally unstable, or unable to love? Should more couples try it? Is BDSM an orientation, like being gay?
Every week, people tell me exactly how they make sex way too complicated, and therefore difficult or impossible to enjoy. Here are some ways they do that.
I wish I could just say “Stop making sex more complicated than necessary…”