Q: I am 72 years old in very good health. My wife and I have sex two or three times a week, and even though I don’t have an erection problem sometimes it goes soft before we both climax. Now with the help of a little Viagra sex is even better. I have always prolonged coming until my wife was satisfied, but now sometimes I find I come too soon, although with Viagra I can stay hard a long time. Well, is it unhealthy not to come at all? My motto is, if you enjoy the meal you don’t need the dessert.
Dr. Klein: First of all, by now you know that our sexuality changes as we age. Don’t be surprised if your erection or ejaculation is different now than it was 20 years ago. On the other hand, if you haven’t had a physical checkup within 18 months I encourage you to see a urologist or internist to make sure your sexual changes aren’t symptomatic of something else.
It sounds like you’re accustomed to making an effort to delay your ejaculation to make sex good for your wife. I suggest you discuss this with her now. Her own sexuality may have changed so this is no longer appropriate or desirable. She may be able to climax from your hand or mouth. She may also find sex without orgasm pleasurable at times. Let her in on your dilemma and resolve it together, as an erotic team. As to your specific question, no, it isn’t harmful not to ejaculate.