Q: When do men usually lose their virginity? I am a 27 year-old law student, a virgin with a lot of seriously painful events in my past. I didn’t date much in high school or college. I’ve come close to having sex with a few women, but either I didn’t feel right about it or I was just too anxious to perform. I like women, but I really have trouble trusting almost anyone.
Dr. Klein: It doesn’t matter when other people become sexually active. You’ve obviously waited until you were ready and circumstances were right. I guess you’re getting concerned that you may never be ready, and the time may never be right. I can understand your concern.
Don’t berate yourself for being abnormal or weird. You’ve been taking care of yourself, which is good. Now taking care of yourself will involve something new–working through your fear of trust and sex. Please see a professional counselor who will help you do this. If you can’t find one, contact me with your address and I’ll recommend someone in your area. Meanwhile, remember that you can enjoy being physically close with someone–kissing, hugging, caressing–without necessarily having genital sex or intercourse.