Q: My fiancé has a normal size penis, but I have an abnormally small mouth. I’ve had oral surgery but still can’t even fit a banana in my mouth. However, I want my boyfriend to be able to experience and enjoy fellatio. How can I do this when I can’t fit his erect penis in my mouth?
Dr. Klein: It’s lovely that you want your fiancé to have the pleasure of fellatio, but it simply may not be possible. No sexual relationship is perfect, and you two may have to be content without fellatio.
That said, here are a few suggestions: First, fellatio can be very enjoyable on a soft penis. See if you can do that; when he gets erect, it may be time to stop and go on to other things. Second, put your hand in front of your mouth, open your fingers, and have his penis go through your hand on its way to your mouth. Only the front, smaller part of the penis will get in your mouth, and he can still enjoy stimulation on his entire shaft. Third, make sure you two have oral sex in a position where you are controlling the depth and speed of the insertion (e.g., with him on his back and you on top), so you feel as relaxed as possible. And finally, explore other ways of enjoying sex together so you have a wide menu to choose from without fellatio.