Q: When my fiancee was 17 she was raped–her first experience with sex. We’re getting married now, and although she tolerates sex she mostly finds it dirty, reminding her of the rape. How can she overcome this? What can I do?
Dr. Klein: First, she should see a psychologist, sex therapist, or nurse to discuss this. There are forms of therapy that can help people put trauma behind them. Second, make sure there aren’t certain sexual activities (positions, etc.) that are especially upsetting for her. Finally, make sure you two have a signal that she can use to let you know you should immediately stop whatever you’re doing. This should help her feel safer.