Overcoming rape

Q: When my fiancee was 17 she was raped–her first experience with sex. We’re getting married now, and although she tolerates sex she mostly finds it dirty, reminding her of the rape. How can she overcome this? What can I do?

Dr. Klein: First, she should see a psychologist, sex therapist, or nurse to discuss this. There are forms of therapy that can help people put trauma behind them. Second, make sure there aren’t certain sexual activities (positions, etc.) that are especially upsetting for her. Finally, make sure you two have a signal that she can use to let you know you should immediately stop whatever you’re doing. This should help her feel safer.

CLOSE

Sign up for more

Sexual Intelligence®

More insights about better sex

More from the Sex Therapist’s Couch

More sexual politics

More about

desire, PornPanic, sexual health, infidelity, sex & aging,

and how technology is changing sex

Subscribe to my Sexual Intelligence blog, and I’ll send you, FREE:

* my new e-book, Bedroom Blues, Therapist Wisdom.

* a 10% discount on all books & audios in my store.

CLOSE

Thank you for signing up!