Q: I am a 30 year old female engaged to a 30 year old man, living together for 5 months. He seems obsessed with pantyhose. He’s always on the Internet looking at women wearing only pantyhose, and he prefers that I wear pantyhose during lovemaking (he cuts a hole in the crotch). I feel weird doing this but do not want to be a prude. Two weeks ago I came home and he was masturbating wearing my pantyhose. I was shocked and left the house. I love this man, but am disgusted by his behavior. Is he normal or am I being a prude? Should I break off our engagement?
Dr. Klein: A surprising number of men are erotically involved in common objects such as pantyhose, shoes, rubber gloves, etc. This attachment usually starts in adolescence, and frequently is lifelong. The issue is not “normality” versus “prudery.” Rather, you two have a lot of talking to do. How honest is he being with you? How close do you feel to him most of the time? How sexually satisfied are each of you? And the ultimate question, Can the two of you create a life together in which each of you will feel comfortable? Don’t worry about labels. Get to know each other as well as possible, and decide if you are compatible.