“Slow” arousal

Q: My boyfriend and I enjoy sharing our fantasies with each other. He often ends up masturbating and “getting there” but I cannot seem to do the same. It takes me a very long time to even start to get wet or feel hot, aroused, etc. I am a 21-year-old, athletic, female and I am quite frustrated. Is there anything I can to do heighten my sensitivity or reaction time?

Dr. Klein: I don’t know exactly what you mean by “slow,” but different people have different rates of arousal. Maybe instead of you speeding up, your boyfriend should slow down. It may also be time to experiment with different ways of being touched and pleasured; you may discover new ways that arouse you faster.

Does your mate lose interest in your pleasure after he comes? This isn’t unusual, and can leave you feeling frustrated. Many couples make sure the woman has an orgasm before the man focuses his complete attention on himself.