Q: At a swing party, I say it’s bad etiquette to be the first to take out a whip–one should wait for the host/hostess to do so first. Don’t you agree?
Dr. Klein: Non-S/M swing parties generally tolerate mild powerplay, such as spanking, a little whipping, or nipple clamps. Any party activity can be initiated by anyone, including anything in this “S/M lite” category–no need to wait for the hostess or host to bend over and start their own scene.
Anything that intrudes on others’ space, however, such as very loud flogging and yelling, or acting out a rape scene, is generally unwelcome at a non-S/M swing party. That’s generally true of really loud and ostentatious non-S/M activity, too: people may want to watch what’s going on across the room, but they generally don’t want to hear it if they’re involved in their own thing, especially if there aren’t other places to play that are quiet.