Q: My wife has almost no sex drive. When we have sex it’s mechanical, instead of the glorious lovemaking I would like to give her. She won’t see a doctor.
Dr. Klein: You cannot force anyone to want sex, or even to want to want sex. Is your wife angry with you? Frightened of pregnancy? Sad or hurt from her previous experiences? Does she hate her body? These are some of the issues that disrupt sexual desire. If she won’t discuss these with you or doctor, perhaps she would discuss them with a sister, aunt, friend, or respected community figure. Encourage her to do so — not so that you can get laid, but for her own peace of mind.