My friend Michael Castleman is the most popular sex educator in history.
Seriously—this world-class health journalist has written a dozen books, hundreds of magazine and newspaper articles, Playboy’s Sex Advisor for five years, and now a Psychology Today blog that has gotten 50 million views.
And after 48 years of writing about sex, he has written his masterpiece. It’s Sizzling Sex for Life: Everything You Need to Know to Maximize Erotic Pleasure At Any Age.
It’s easy to read, gives great advice, documents whatever it says (with over 2,500 studies from around the world), and names and refutes the most common myths that account for most of our sexual struggles. Unlike most self-help books and blogs, he doesn’t just give you his opinion—he digs up the facts and presents them.
Michael is an unapologetic fan of cunnilingus (going down on a woman). He notes that most women don’t climax from intercourse (many men and women still don’t know this!), and that tongues are strong, dependable, and wet. He provides a lot of help for men who are still squeamish about this delightful, mutual activity. I say “mutual,” because I don’t think one “gives” oral sex to a woman—you share the experience with her.
VERY, VERY PRACTICAL
Michael tackles the most practical sexual issues, such as: How to create enjoyable sex with a pregnant or nursing partner; How to treat rapid ejaculation, unreliable erections, and inhibited orgasm; and How to sanely explore threesomes, BDSM, and anal sex.
And, ever the practical health advocate, Michael encourages lube, lube, and more lube whenever inserting anything into an orifice.
There’s a great section on female sexuality. It starts by noting the many similarities between male and female sexuality, a valuable but overlooked fact among many of today’s sex therapists and psychologists.
As any helpful book about sex must, Michael devotes an entire section to pornography—the challenges its users (and their partners) face, and its impact on adolescents.
While he is totally realistic about the misleading images and ideas porn presents, he cites dozens of studies showing that porn is mostly not violent; that porn actresses do not see themselves as damaged or exploited; and that most people who use porn don’t typically ruin their sexual relationships. And he shows exactly why the “porn addiction” model damages far more people than it helps.
Mostly, Michael cheerfully guides readers of all ages through the mess that Americans have made out of sex. His warm, reassuring voice emphasizes pleasure, gentleness, communication, and each person’s authenticity. Whether you’re a virgin, a senior citizen needing reassurance, or a couple who wants to try a few new things, this book is for you.
No wonder Michael Castleman is the world’s most popular sex writer.