Does sex get better if your looks improve? Do better-looking people have better sex? And how does social media affect all this?
Approaching the anniversary of our country’s freedom, what’s the state of our own sexual freedom?
There are many external restrictions on our erotic expression such as the criminalization of abortion, attempts to eliminate adult pornography, and the censorship of both school and adult libraries.
But there are many internal restrictions we place on our own sexual expression–and these prevent us from using the sexual rights that we do have.
Every week, people come for therapy with desire issues. Someone wants higher libido. Someone else wants their partner to have a higher libido.
My answer is frequently…let’s talk about something else. Important issues might include:
~ Power dynamics
~ Body image
~ Self-esteem
~ Conflict management
~ Old wounds—the individual’s, the partner’s, or the couple’s
~ Religion
~ Alcohol and drugs
~ Aging, health, chronic pain, menopause, contraception
Sometimes the problem is easy to…
Millions of couples argue about porn.
The arguments sound like they’re about porn, but they really aren’t.
The conflict almost invariably involves a woman who’s unhappy with a man’s porn-viewing, while the man defends himself or criticizes the woman’s unhappiness. Couples can argue about porn for hours, over months and years, and easily avoid talking about what’s really bothering them.
The arguments typically sound like this: “I don’t want you looking at porn because…
In America, sex and alcohol go together like peanut butter and jelly. Or a fish and a bicycle. Or desire and guilt.
Consciously or not, people combine alcohol and sex for four main reasons: to increase desire, disinhibit themselves or a partner, cope with pain, or manage anxiety.
Unfortunately, mixing alcohol and sex can have some very unwanted consequences. For starters…
Some people would rather be right than enjoy sex.
They demand that sex be a certain way, no matter how narrow or unrealistic—or pointless—that is.
Many people could improve their sex lives without their partner having to change at all. What else could you ask for?