‘childhood exploitation’

Shame—A Bigger Problem Than Your Penis, Vagina, Fantasies, or Desire

At our first session, when I ask “what would you like to accomplish in our therapy,” people will often mention their fantasies (too weird?), their desire (too low, too high), or their penis or vagina (which won’t do what they want when they want it).

Very few people say “I want to feel less shame.” Of course not—they’re too ashamed.

Sexual shame has many causes–and it’s usually not an individual’s fault. It takes many forms, which therapy can often reduce.

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