Totally by coincidence, two different guys called me for therapy this week with similar issues. One was regularly going to massage parlors for “happy endings,” and the other was paying young men he met on Grindr for quickies.
They each thought their behavior was wrong, and both felt ashamed. The first guy, Pedro, wanted to stop. The second guy, Chang, didn’t really want to stop, but thought he “should.”
Both guys are married. Both guys have high-paying, pressure-filled jobs. Both guys have trouble talking about sex. So they’ve each arranged to have sexual encounters without any talking.