‘intimacy’

Is It Sex?

I’m in Houston, lecturing to the Houston Group Psychotherapy Society about “sexual narratives”—the vocabulary and stories with which our culture discusses sexuality, which patients and therapists inevitably use, too. Stories like “all men are hounds,” “I have a hot Italian temper,” “oral sex is for prostitutes,” or “I’m cursed with a small penis, so I can’t satisfy women.” This morning, I talked about the place where I get my hair cut. You check in, then go into the changing room to remove and hang your blouse or shirt, and put on a smock. On a busy day, there might be…

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The Couple Who Don’t Celebrate Valentine’s Day

I know this couple who don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. These happily married people—call them Nick and Nora— aren’t very romantic, either. They share money, so they don’t really “take” each other out. At their age they have most of the stuff they really want, so neither really wants a “gift;” besides, they can each shop for themselves way better than for each other. On top of that, they both dislike shopping. Nick and Nora laugh about not celebrating Valentine’s Day, sort of a private joke. What they do is treat each other well during the year. They go places, enjoy…

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