‘narratives’

6 Ways Social Media Undermines Sex

Despite the extraordinary amount of good information that’s available, the number of people who are sexually frustrated, disappointed, confused, anxious, or clueless hasn’t declined. In fact, young people today have less sex than young people did 10, 20, or 30 years ago.

The reasons include the usual suspects: selecting an incompatible partner; religious & cultural beliefs that sexual desire is dangerous; poor communication skills; insecurity about desires, fantasies, or one’s body.

But today there’s another culprit undermining sexual desire and satisfaction: social media.

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Bad Sex Words

Let’s look at some words in our sexual vocabulary that we should define, change, or eliminate altogether. Lay people aren’t the only ones to use these unhelpful words. They’re also used by doctors, journalists, and therapists. Together, they add up to a narrative of sex as problematic, even dangerous.

Change or eliminate these words, and you’ll make your sexual communication clearer–and your sex more enjoyable.

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“Sex is the Peasant’s Opera”

Many of my patients feel powerless around sexuality.

In fact, psychological risk-taking is one of the greatest gifts sex has to offer.

Most of the judgements that we fear from others (“she’ll think I’m a pervert”) we actually fear from ourselves. Most of our fear about “failing” sexually is a response to arbitrary standards that we could actually break with impunity. And limiting sex to what’s “dignified” or “manly” or “feminist” or “anti-racist”…

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