“Sex addiction” treatment understands nothing about sex, lets one or both partners evade responsibility, and assumes “addicts” are out of control.
Its handling of infidelity, porn use, sex workers, “emotional affairs,” desire, fantasy, and masturbation damages people and their marriages.
Today is National Psychotherapy Day. Every year, it comes seven weeks after National Psychic Day (yes, really).
Psychotherapy involves a wonderful set of tools. Every year, skillful therapists save marriages, facilitate divorces, educate parents, ease trauma, and help people overcome depression or anxiety.
But one of American psychotherapy’s main weaknesses is in the area of sexuality. Most therapists…
Every year at this time, National White Ribbon Against Pornography (WRAP) Week mobilizes tens of thousands of civic leaders, religious figures, and policy-makers. The goal is to spread lies about the dangers of adult pornography, and its alleged connections with sex trafficking, domestic violence, and child exploitation.
I have written about this cynical, shameful project many times (https://goo.gl/fYS2KE; https://goo.gl/4juJRQ; https://goo.gl/HHkHKo).
Another woman leaves my office, broken-hearted that her husband looks at porn. Or enraged that her husband looks at porn. Or terrified, confused, or ashamed. I understand the anguish, I do. It’s all the more poignant because it’s so unnecessary. Although porn feels like the problem, focusing on that rarely brings domestic peace or more intimacy. It certainly doesn’t bring more or better sex. Here’s what various women say they feel in this situation: * “I hate that he keeps secrets. I feel left out.” * “I can’t compete with those damn women who perform in porn films. I’ll never…