We imagine others having more pleasure, self-acceptance, and sexiness than we feel. They rarely feel as good as we imagine.
It’s the same with porn: real sex doesn’t feel as good as porn sex looks. It can’t. How shall we handle this?
Florida has criminalized sex dolls that look like children. Arizona has declared porn a public health crisis.
Both were done without input from scientists, sex experts, or consumers.
It’s fascinating what people blame on porn–such as a husband behaving like a selfish jerk.
You might as well blame food for obesity, or cars for dangerous driving, or kids for bad parenting. Of course, obesity involves food, dangerous driving involves cars, and bad parenting involves kids. But if you want to understand problematic behavior, you have to look past the surface.
Why do we find sex uninspiring? Maybe we expect it to compete with the endless excitement of the internet.
“Consent” is only one aspect of sexuality; focussing on it too much distracts us from other important policy issues regarding sex. It also ignores the central role of ambivalence and ambiguity in sexual decision-making.
Making sex better isn’t about special techniques or a perfect body. Here are 5 New Year’s Resolutions to help you enjoy sex more in 2019.