No-Nut November promotes male abstinence from masturbation, sex and ejaculation. About a million young men are involved in this practice.
While it sounds like a bizarre joke (and indeed, was the theme of five very funny episodes of Seinfeld), it’s seriously important for several reasons:
Dr. Debby Herbenick’s latest research from the Kinsey Institute shows that an astounding number of young people are engaged in choking (actually, strangling) during sex.
Are they really enjoying it—or has sex become more about power than about pleasure and connection?
People are injecting politics into their relationships in ways that undermine them, interfering with empathy and communication.
Too many people perceive and talk about political forces instead of discussing personal characteristics or feelings. This doesn’t educate others or promote intimacy.
As a sex therapist, I talk about masturbation with patients a lot.
They’re often surprised at the details I ask about: not just how often, but for how long, where, and what they actually do. And how they feel before, during and after it.
And I ask two questions that no one expects: Why do you do it? And do you enjoy it? You might be surprised at the answers I get…
Whenever I write or lecture about pornography, some wives and girlfriends eagerly respond with stories that supposedly prove how damaging pornography is. Examples include:~ He tells me I should look or act more like a porn star ~ He leaves porn around the house where the kids can find it ~ He insists on sexual activities with me that I don’t want ~ He won’t have sex with me anymore ~ He watches porn and then hits me ~ He’ll only have sex with me if we look at porn together ~ He ignores me if he doesn’t get enough…
There’s a new book out about sexual fantasy and it’s half wonderful.
Social psychologist Justin Lehmiller has recently completed the largest American study of people’s sexual fantasies, interviewing over 4,000 respondents. He discusses the results in his lively new book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You.
To summarize: humans are a sexually diverse group, with an enormously wide range of sexual fantasies. And those fantasies are generally not polite, or wholesome, or respectful of boundaries—which is actually the point of sexual fantasy.