‘sex addiction’

Another Marriage Destroyed By “Sex Addiction” Treatment

“Sex addiction” treatment understands nothing about sex, lets one or both partners evade responsibility, and assumes “addicts” are out of control.

Its handling of infidelity, porn use, sex workers, “emotional affairs,” desire, fantasy, and masturbation damages people and their marriages.

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National Psychotherapy Day: What Shrinks Get Wrong About Sex

Today is National Psychotherapy Day. Every year, it comes seven weeks after National Psychic Day (yes, really).

Psychotherapy involves a wonderful set of tools. Every year, skillful therapists save marriages, facilitate divorces, educate parents, ease trauma, and help people overcome depression or anxiety.

But one of American psychotherapy’s main weaknesses is in the area of sexuality. Most therapists…

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Why There’s No Such Thing As Sex Addiction—and Why It Matters

Sex addiction is a convenient explanation for the destructive behavior of people driven mad by shame and Christian demands for sexual purity.

But the problem is shame, not sex. Treating shame, sexual ignorance, and relationship problems can actually cure people–so they don’t have to be addicts in recovery for the rest of their lives.

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Another Guy Who Isn’t A “Sex Addict”

When they came to me they were getting “sex addiction” treatment. As the spouse of an “addict,” she was in S-Anon, endlessly talking about her trauma and her “co-dependence.” He was going to Sexaholics Anonymous meetings and reading about the 12 Steps.

She wanted me treat his “sex addiction,” and he was willing to do almost anything to end their nightmare of mistrust and chronic conflict.

But in the very first session, I told them that I don’t use the category of “sex addiction.”

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Another Guy Who Isn’t a Sex Addict

He was 50, married, and he had all the symptoms of “sex addiction.” Let’s call him Joe. As he travelled the country lecturing (he was a pioneering ear surgeon), he’d hire an escort to spend the night with him. He’d lie about it to his wife, of course. He became a regular—or rather he had a few “regulars”—in cities he visited frequently, such as Chicago and St. Louis. What had started 12 years ago as an occasional treat eventually became a virtual necessity. While he wanted to be an attentive father and husband, he worked long hours and was emotionally…

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