‘sex therapy’

Arguments About Porn Aren’t About Porn

Millions of couples argue about porn.

The arguments sound like they’re about porn, but they really aren’t.

The conflict almost invariably involves a woman who’s unhappy with a man’s porn-viewing, while the man defends himself or criticizes the woman’s unhappiness. Couples can argue about porn for hours, over months and years, and easily avoid talking about what’s really bothering them.

The arguments typically sound like this: “I don’t want you looking at porn because…

Continue Reading
0 Comments

Cheated On? Here’s The WORST 5 Things You Can Do

Every week, I counsel men and women heartbroken over infidelity.

And every week, I try to prevent those people from making big mistakes. If it’s already too late, I help people deal with the consequences of their big mistakes.

Frequently, nearly everyone in the Betrayed’s life is encouraging them to make big mistakes. That can even include their therapist. It most certainly includes the internet and social media.

Continue Reading
0 Comments

A Look Back at 2023

2023 was a full year for Sexual Intelligence.

My newsletter now goes to almost 8,000 people every month. That’s in addition to my Sexual Intelligence blog for Psychology Today, which gets 1,100 hits per DAY.

This year I covered my usual topics: making sex more enjoyable; examining America’s War on Sex; explaining & critiquing sex therapy and couples therapy; and sex in the news, including both dark and light-hearted…

Continue Reading
0 Comments

When Sex Therapy Fails

Deepak is a nice enough guy—mid-30s, Silicon Valley software engineer, married three years to Nikki, a researcher. They had both come here from India for graduate school, and stayed afterwards. He was referred to me by the Stanford Medical Center.

One of my specialties is Deepak’s exact complaint: unreliable erections. After three sessions, however, I’m pretty sure he’ll be disappointed with the results of our work.

That’s because we still disagree on what his problem actually is…

Continue Reading
0 Comments

Let’s Talk Vaginas

They each had a Ph.D, had been married for three years, and obviously trusted and loved each other. And neither one knew a vagina from, well, a hole in the ground.

Their parents were pressuring them to have children as soon as possible, but it “just wasn’t happening,” so they figured they’d have to go through artificial fertility treatments.

Su’s gynecologist suggested they see me before they did, “just in case” I could say something helpful.

Continue Reading
0 Comments