Some of my patients count orgasms. Sometimes they count their own, but more often, they count their partners’. Both men and women do this. “When my wife doesn’t climax, I feel I haven’t done my job,” says Max. “When a boyfriend doesn’t orgasm, I figure it’s because I don’t turn him on enough,” says Maria. “I want to totally satisfy my husband every time, says Claire. “I don’t want LaShonda to think I’m selfish, or that I don’t care,” says Marcus, “so I try to make her cum no matter how long it takes.” Listening to people say such things,…