Changing the Way People, Politics & the Media Look at Sex

‘sexual communication’

Seinfeld: Still Hilarious After 25 Years

by on ·Sex & Culture, Sexual Intelligence Blog

Twenty-five years ago this week, the TV show Seinfeld went off the air after 180 episodes. It was the rare show that was popular with both audiences and critics; in 2013, the Writers Guild of America voted it the No. 2 Best-Written TV Series of All Time, behind only The Sopranos. The one-line description of the show was the innovative “A Show About Nothing.” But that isn’t accurate. It was actually a show about everything–everything that happens in the daily life of almost everyone. And that was its genius. The primary cast involves four friends, all single and 30ish (and…

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8 Ways to Put Sex Therapists Out of Business

by on ·Sex Therapist's Couch, Sexual Intelligence Blog

In 39 years as a sex therapist, I’ve worked with individuals and couples from every conceivable background, with every imaginable problem.

And yet this huge variety of people share a small number of recurring concerns. That’s what every sex therapist talks about, over and over, year after year.

If people would do the following eight things, most of our business would dry up overnight. Do one of these and your sexual satisfaction will almost certainly increase.

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“Is that infidelity?” Why that’s the wrong question

by on ·Sex Therapist's Couch, Sexual Intelligence Blog

As a therapist, I deal with couples in conflict every week. Frequently, two partners want different things: another child versus a vasectomy; saving versus spending; how much sex to have.

Of course, there’s no “right” answer to questions like these—just two people with different values that may or may not be reconcilable. But couples also ask me to arbitrate questions that…

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Has the Internet Really Changed Anything About Sexuality?

by on ·Sex & Culture, Sexual Intelligence Blog

Nothing could be more modern than the rise and fall of Ashley Madison: millions of world-wide members linked by a single website, the central promise of cyber-confidentiality, millions of phony profiles generated by algorithm, and the whole thing brought down by hackers—exposing not just the criminal business behavior, but the email addresses and IP information for millions of accounts, both real and fake. This ultra-modern story is also a reminder that the human heart hasn’t changed. I’m not talking about the good old-fashioned greed of unethical businessmen. I’m talking about the customers. People still want to connect. People still find…

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What’s “Natural” About Sex?

by on ·Sexual Health, Sexual Intelligence Blog

The New York Times Magazine has a great opinion piece this week about how “natural” doesn’t have a specific legal meaning. We now live in a world in which “natural Cheetos” and “100% all-natural chicken nuggets” are for sale. The anti-vaccination nuts deride medicines that are “unnatural,” forgetting that the goal of all medicine is to defeat nature. Anti-gay folks talk about “natural [i.e., heterosexual] marriage,” as if marriage isn’t an artificial institution like baseball—and, like baseball, is played differently in different places and subject to periodic rule changes (insert favorite rant about the Designated Hitter or former laws against…

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