Americans enjoy more sexual freedom than ever, with major cultural changes in just the last 20 years.
But we still need more options for expressing our sexuality, with less interference both from well-meaning conservatives and well-meaning progressives.
Each group would dictate what we can say and what we can do–and both are unacceptable.
In every generation there are sexual things that people are not supposed to discuss or even see.
Some sexual words and images that used to be taboo are now considered valuable.
Today, the new taboos are sexual questions we can’t ask. Why?
Many of my patients feel powerless around sexuality.
In fact, psychological risk-taking is one of the greatest gifts sex has to offer.
Most of the judgements that we fear from others (“she’ll think I’m a pervert”) we actually fear from ourselves. Most of our fear about “failing” sexually is a response to arbitrary standards that we could actually break with impunity. And limiting sex to what’s “dignified” or “manly” or “feminist” or “anti-racist”…
Every week, people tell me exactly how they make sex way too complicated, and therefore difficult or impossible to enjoy. Here are some ways they do that.
I wish I could just say “Stop making sex more complicated than necessary…”
The idea of deriding something as “just like a woman” has gone out of fashion, and I daresay no modern woman would stand for it.
So why has “just like a man” become increasingly acceptable?
As a lifelong “liberal” it breaks my heart to say this, but “liberals” and “progressives” are making it harder and harder to write about things that matter. Here are examples of facts that I and others hesitate to write about: