At our first session, when I ask “what would you like to accomplish in our therapy,” people will often mention their fantasies (too weird?), their desire (too low, too high), or their penis or vagina (which won’t do what they want when they want it).
Very few people say “I want to feel less shame.” Of course not—they’re too ashamed.
Sexual shame has many causes–and it’s usually not an individual’s fault. It takes many forms, which therapy can often reduce.
No-Nut November discourages men from masturbating, touting dangerous myths about its benefits.
This has metastasized into NoFap, a million-man movement of violent conspiracy theories (porn=Jews), racist ideology, & misogyny.
The NY Times just reviewed vibrators as a normal consumer product.
But Facebook rejects ads for sex toys, and some states restrict their sale.
Pleasure is part of sexual health. But
America’s War on Sex continues to demonize anything that makes sex healthier, easier, safer, or more enjoyable.
Michael Castleman is the world’s most popular sex writer.
In his wonderful new book “Sizzling Sex,” Castleman cheerfully guides readers of all ages through the mess that Americans have made out of sex. He has always emphasized scientific evidence with an approach that supports every person’s authentic sexuality.
Whether you’re a virgin, a senior citizen needing reassurance, or a couple who wants to try a few new things, this practical, reassuring book is for you.
Healthcare professionals can do a great job of answering our questions about sex–if we ask them.
Here are some examples of what we should ask our doctor, nurse, or physical therapist–and what we should tell them about our sexuality if they don’t ask.
The “porn addiction” movement claims that one of pornography’s biggest problems is the way it disrespects women. But the movement itself is what’s really disrespectful to women–claiming they are hysterical creatures so overwhelmed by the porn issue that they can’t negotiate like adults.