Everybody wants to know what “normal sex” is–what is sex like for other people? I’ve spent decades NOT answering this question—from patients, the media, from my readers, radio listeners, lecture audiences.
Why? Because people inevitably use the information in terribly non-helpful ways.
Steam-cleaning your vagina is the latest way someone’s getting rich by making women feel bad about their sexual bodies. Men are under that kind of pressure, too–and we should all resist it.
While a small amount of the world’s sex advice is helpful, most of it isn’t. Here are some popular sex tools that you probably don’t need.
As I’ve said before, I think people expect too much from erection drugs. If you’re chronically angry with your wife, you’ll still be angry after you take Viagra—and almost certainly won’t get an erection.
However, when men say they plan to start using Viagra, I encourage them to test-drive it alone first. That is…
And that’s why it doesn’t exist. But let’s back up a few steps. On March 27, 1998 the FDA approved Viagra as the first oral treatment for erection problems. It went on sale later that year, and was soon followed by Cialis and Levitra, variants of the same drug. All three are now currently in use. As my essay in Playboy back then predicted, the drug was hugely successful, misunderstood and misused, and expected to perform miracles. It hasn’t. It doesn’t make angry men sweet, doesn’t make clumsy men graceful, doesn’t make weak backs strong, and doesn’t make drunk men…
I know you really want to know. And I know how hard it is to find out. We search the web, we look at porn, we read self-help books and listen to podcasts. If we’re bold we ask our best friend. Almost everyone wants to know what sex is like for other people. Or to put it another way, what is sexually normal? How often, how many minutes, how many orgasms, how many inches, how many partners, how much, where, when? And how? I’ve spent decades not answering the “normal” question—from patients, the media, from my readers, radio listeners, lecture…