Patients tell me they want sex to be “natural and spontaneous.” They want it to be easy and enjoyable, a source of pleasure, comfort, and connection.
And yet year after year, these same perfectly nice people construct sex so that it’s complicated, frustrating, and anxiety-provoking–because of their ideas about sex.
Some couples are in conflict about a woman’s insistence that her partner stop watching porn.
What does she hope to gain by this?
After speaking on pornography in Toronto and Alberta, I’ve just returned from lecturing on intimacy in Vancouver, my third Canadian city this year.
As always, the British Columbia Psychological Association was gracious and well-organized. About half of those in attendance had heard me speak there last year on infidelity and cybersex,
Vanilla sex is what most people do. That doesn’t mean it’s “normal,” just that it’s really common. Some people love it, while others find it unsatisfying. Either way, it’s still what most people do.
Dear Doctor: You didn’t ask me or talk to me about sex. Not once.
I saw you for hip pain.
Given the way that so many kinds of sex involve our hips, asking about sex would seem important.
You didn’t.
Of course…
Making sex better isn’t about special techniques or a perfect body. Here are 5 New Year’s Resolutions to help you enjoy sex more in 2019.