July 31 is National Orgasm Day.
It’s also National Avocado Day and National Talk in an Elevator Day. I guess you can talk to a stranger about how you climax from eating a great avocado?
Here are some fun facts about orgasm:
~ The first modern description of female orgasm is by a 12th-century nun named Hildegard of Bingen. She wrote plays, music, and medical texts. She suggested that after a man’s “seed has fallen into its place,” its “heat” (and the woman’s pleasure) lead her “sexual organs to contract…like a strong man enclosing something in his hand.”
~ As documented by Shere Hite in 1976, only about 20-30% of women can orgasm from intercourse (or a finger or vaginal toy) alone. Almost all the rest can climax from clitoral stimulation. Some 25% of women can orgasm in both ways.
~ About one-third or more of women have multiple orgasms—that is, more than one orgasm without cooling off completely in between them. Only a tiny fraction of American men can do that.
~ That’s because men have a refractory period, the mandatory reloading time between orgasm and next erection. In teens, that period may be minutes; it gets longer as men age, and can be as long as 24 hours when a man is 70.
~ Some women expel fluid when they orgasm. In some, especially after childbirth, it’s urine—a harmless dribble, though culturally disapproved. Some women expel less than half a teaspoon of milky white fluid that’s similar to prostate secretions; most usually don’t even notice if they do.
“Squirting” has been popularized by modern porn films. Only about a third of women report that they’ve ever done it, and most of them say it’s rare when they do. This fluid originates in the bladder and is a diluted form of urine, mixed with trace prostatic secretions. While squirting may be enjoyable, feeling pressure to do so can undermine not just the orgasm, but the entire sexual experience.
~ Most men know the experience of “blue balls”–the uncomfortable ache or feeling of heaviness in the testicles after prolonged sexual arousal without orgasm. It’s harmless, and is resolved by a good night’s sleep. Yes, women experience a similar phenomenon, which can be called “blue vulva,” “pink pelvis,” or “pelvic vasocongestion”.
Sexual arousal increases blood flow to the genitalia. The veins constrict to keep it there. Orgasm acts like a pressure valve, its rhythmic muscle contractions releasing the trapped blood. If arousal stops abruptly without an orgasm, the veins dilate very slowly, leaving deoxygenated blood pooled in the genitalia–which causes an aching or throbbing pressure.
~ Men don’t orgasm every time they have partner sex. It may involve their particular biology, may be a medication side effect (anti-depressants, I’m looking at you), and it may be anxiety—from performance pressure or fear of a partner’s disappointment or sadness. Too many people interpret this as a lack of attraction or affection; too many women feel they fail if a man doesn’t orgasm.
The older a man is, the less likely he is to climax during sex. Why? Orgasm is a reflex, and all our reflexes slow down as we age.
~ The so-called “orgasm gap” between straight men and straight women? For my critique of this concept, see bit.ly/4vdaiPf.
~ Yes, women sometimes fake orgasm. Men do, too, for the same reasons as women, though less often. For the definitive word on this, watch this hilarious 3-minute clip from the 1989 Rob Reiner film When Harry Met Sally: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_lEs4FYkhs
~~~~~
Like short videos about sexuality? www.youtube.com/@Marty_Klein
Want Sexual Intelligence in 1 line? www.instagram.com/doctormartyklein
Changing the Way People, Politics & the Media Look at Sex