‘fantasy’

Fantasy vs. Desire—You Know the Difference, Right?

There’s a new book out about sexual fantasy and it’s half wonderful.

Social psychologist Justin Lehmiller has recently completed the largest American study of people’s sexual fantasies, interviewing over 4,000 respondents. He discusses the results in his lively new book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You.

To summarize: humans are a sexually diverse group, with an enormously wide range of sexual fantasies. And those fantasies are generally not polite, or wholesome, or respectful of boundaries—which is actually the point of sexual fantasy.

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Anal Toy Freakout

Bob and Anne have been married for 10 years, more or less happily.

Last month she found an anal toy in the back of her husband’s sock drawer and freaked out. She then went through his website searches and found he’d been look at transgender porn. She freaked out more. She also found that he had searched a few sites looking for “grannies in Toronto,” which is where they live.

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The Cuckold—Watching His Wife With Other Guys

In a world where jealousy seems “normal,” and where so many men talk about women who cheat, there’s another kind of man. He’s the one who fantasizes about his wife or girlfriend with another guy. He may even try to make it happen in real life. Call them cuckolds or hot-wifers (as in, ‘hey guys, check out my hot wife’); these guys are generally not really swingers, because they aren’t usually after another sexual partner for themselves. There’s more of these guys out there than you may realize. With some cuckolds, humiliation is part of the desired experience. The script…

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