‘fantasy’

Porn Didn’t Destroy This Marriage—Her PornPhobia Could

What kind of a woman would destroy a perfectly good marriage (and great sex life) because her husband looks at porn?

There’s too, too many of them. One of those hubbies came to see me last week.

OK, he lied about watching. Not cool to lie.

But why would a grownup lie? The reason isn’t that complicated—he…

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Sexual Diversity: Beyond Gender & Orientation

The world has come a long way in recognizing the diversity of human sexual experience.

In 1948, it was revolutionary for biologist Alfred Kinsey to describe sexual orientation as a continuum (from exclusively homoerotic to exclusively heteroerotic), challenging the prevailing binary model.

Gradually, society recognized consensual non-monogamy, BDSM, fantasy role-playing, paraphilias, and a broad range of sexual expression. Now Americans openly discussion gender non-binaries and an increasing number of sexual orientations. So who’s being left out…

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Still Not Free in the U.S.—Your Sexual Fantasies

On this most un-free COVID-stained July 4th, I want to caution you about another important way in which we are not free: regarding our sexual fantasies.

You are NOT free to fantasize about sex that is illegal. If you do, and you’re caught, you will have to prove you do not actually want to do those things. This is almost impossible. In fact, in my experience as an expert witness in courtrooms across America, I’ve rarely seen anyone do it successfully.

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Fantasy vs. Desire—You Know the Difference, Right?

There’s a new book out about sexual fantasy and it’s half wonderful.

Social psychologist Justin Lehmiller has recently completed the largest American study of people’s sexual fantasies, interviewing over 4,000 respondents. He discusses the results in his lively new book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You.

To summarize: humans are a sexually diverse group, with an enormously wide range of sexual fantasies. And those fantasies are generally not polite, or wholesome, or respectful of boundaries—which is actually the point of sexual fantasy.

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