Millions of couples argue about porn.
The arguments sound like they’re about porn, but they really aren’t.
The conflict almost invariably involves a woman who’s unhappy with a man’s porn-viewing, while the man defends himself or criticizes the woman’s unhappiness. Couples can argue about porn for hours, over months and years, and easily avoid talking about what’s really bothering them.
The arguments typically sound like this: “I don’t want you looking at porn because…
What kind of a woman would destroy a perfectly good marriage (and great sex life) because her husband looks at porn?
There’s too, too many of them. One of those hubbies came to see me last week.
OK, he lied about watching. Not cool to lie.
But why would a grownup lie? The reason isn’t that complicated—he…
The world has come a long way in recognizing the diversity of human sexual experience.
In 1948, it was revolutionary for biologist Alfred Kinsey to describe sexual orientation as a continuum (from exclusively homoerotic to exclusively heteroerotic), challenging the prevailing binary model.
Gradually, society recognized consensual non-monogamy, BDSM, fantasy role-playing, paraphilias, and a broad range of sexual expression. Now Americans openly discussion gender non-binaries and an increasing number of sexual orientations. So who’s being left out…
Some people would rather be right than enjoy sex.
They demand that sex be a certain way, no matter how narrow or unrealistic—or pointless—that is.
Many people could improve their sex lives without their partner having to change at all. What else could you ask for?
On this most un-free COVID-stained July 4th, I want to caution you about another important way in which we are not free: regarding our sexual fantasies.
You are NOT free to fantasize about sex that is illegal. If you do, and you’re caught, you will have to prove you do not actually want to do those things. This is almost impossible. In fact, in my experience as an expert witness in courtrooms across America, I’ve rarely seen anyone do it successfully.
A wide range of men & women seek treatment with me because they are deeply ashamed of various aspects of their sexuality.