Approaching the anniversary of our country’s freedom, what’s the state of our own sexual freedom?
There are many external restrictions on our erotic expression such as the criminalization of abortion, attempts to eliminate adult pornography, and the censorship of both school and adult libraries.
But there are many internal restrictions we place on our own sexual expression–and these prevent us from using the sexual rights that we do have.
The First Amendment states that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.”
In 1789, this was revolutionary. It repudiated the fundamental relationship of religion and politics that had existed for thousands of years: you had better worship the king’s god(s)—to do otherwise was treason, punishable by death.
Four states have taken a giant step backwards by requiring that school post the Ten Commandments in every schoolroom.
We already know where this leads: restrictions on our sexual decision-making.
Americans enjoy more sexual freedom than ever, with major cultural changes in just the last 20 years.
But we still need more options for expressing our sexuality, with less interference both from well-meaning conservatives and well-meaning progressives.
Each group would dictate what we can say and what we can do–and both are unacceptable.
Many of my patients feel powerless around sexuality.
In fact, psychological risk-taking is one of the greatest gifts sex has to offer.
Most of the judgements that we fear from others (“she’ll think I’m a pervert”) we actually fear from ourselves. Most of our fear about “failing” sexually is a response to arbitrary standards that we could actually break with impunity. And limiting sex to what’s “dignified” or “manly” or “feminist” or “anti-racist”…
In 2018, sex is the only thing left that people do without ear buds or a screen.
This makes sex one of the last havens of actual human-human contact. Paradoxically, sex can be revolutionary precisely because it can be a place without politics. The Church hates sex because it’s where humans can experience actual autonomy.
Maria was dying. She and her husband had discussed all the practical arrangements. Just one more thing–what did she want if she temporarily recovered? “Sex!,” she said. Why?